Take away your Blue Monday..

[Guest mr X]

Why do condoms come in a box of 3, 6, or 12?

A man walks into a drug store with his 8-year old son.

They happen to walk by the condom display, and the boy asks,

"What are these, Dad?

To which the man matter-of-factly replies,

"Those are called condoms son. Men use them to have safe sex."

"Oh I see," replied the boy pensively.

Yes, I've heard of that in health class at school."

He looks over the display and picks up a package of 3 and asks,

"Why are there 3 in this package?"

The dad replies, "Those are for high school boys, one

for Friday, one for Saturday, and one for Sunday."

"Cool" says the boy. He notices a 6 pack and asks,

"Then who are these for?"

"Those are for college men," the dad answers, TWO

for Friday, TWO for Saturday, and TWO for Sunday."

"WOW!" exclaimed the boy, "then who uses THESE?" he asks,

picking up a 12 pack.

With a sigh and a tear in his eye, the dad replied,

"Those are for married men. One for January, one for February, one

for March........"

[Guest mr X]

Little Johnny is at it again ...

President Obama was visiting a primary school and he visited one of the classes. They were in the middle of a discussion related to words and their meanings. The teacher asked the President if he would like to lead the discussion on the word 'tragedy'.

So our illustrious democratic President asked the class for an example of a 'tragedy'.

One little boy stood up and offered: 'If my best friend, who lives on a farm, is playing in the field and a tractor runs over him and kills him, that would be a tragedy?'

'No,' said Obama, 'that would be an accident.' A little girl raised her hand: 'If a school bus carrying 50 children drove a over a cliff, killing everyone inside, that would be a tragedy.' 'I'm afraid not,' explained Obama. 'That's what we would call a great loss.'

The room went silent... No other children volunteered. Obama searched the room. 'Isn't there someone here who can give me an example of a tragedy?'

Finally at the back of the room, Little Johnny raised his hand. In a quiet voice he said: 'If the plane carrying you and Mrs.. Obama was struck by a 'friendly fire' missile and blown to smithereens that would be a tragedy.'

'Fantastic!' exclaimed Obama. 'That's right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?'

'Well,' says Little Johnny, 'It has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn't be a great loss... and it probably wouldn't be a damn accident either.'